a life update (september 2025)
hi everyone & welcome to this little universe of mine here on the internet. i’m not sure anyone here actually reads this blog. i rarely promote it and it’s surely more of a space for me to collect my thoughts rather than a traditional blog for the masses.
i haven’t written on here in ages, usually because i start to write and then get bored half-way through, but i’ll try to stick with it this time to gather my experiences and thoughts and all that happened recently. which was a lot!
life is odd at the moment, actually, very very odd. not in a bad way and also not necessarily super good way. life has been confusing, exciting, exhausting and overwhelming all at once. me sometimes switching between all of these emotions (& a hundred more) countless of times throughout the day.
the last months have led me to various places such as montenegro, greece, northern germany, scotland and currently france. next to go are germany (again), followed by spain. i planned to ‘‘retire’’ my traveling a while ago. as you can see it didn’t work. i consider myself immensely grateful for the opportunities i have and that i even get to experience ‘‘travel fatigue’’, but it’s truly hitting me again. so i find myself in this weird space in between wanting to have new experiences in different places in the world, yet also wanting to have a solid base. i long for a quiet, peaceful and calm life while also craving the completely opposite anytime i seem to get closer to the first.
my mind has been a jumble and a mess recently, a harbor of instability and mixed emotions. my mind seems to change daily, motivation fades and emerges in waves that seem impossible to ride. clarity is fleeting and rare and passion manifests itself as an inconsistent flicker instead of a steady flame. i blame my 20’s for it, which simultaneously also slightly relieves me from the pressure i have to have all of this figured out (daily mantra: you’re 21 girl, relax.)
the time i’m in right now feels very transformational. transformational in ways that it hasn’t been before. i don’t know what it is, except for a feeling. a feeling that things will be very different very soon. in a good way. i’m leaving a big chapter behind & energetically closing the doors to something that wasn’t serving my life anymore, which means = new space. for what, i’m not sure yet. but i trust.
mind-dump and insights from the past months & weeks:
once you build a true relationship with the place your soul has come from, you start to see life for what it truly is. it’s a gift, it’s a chance for you to experience what it feels like to be human, it is a game in the most beautiful way imaginable. how exciting is it to be alive here and to experience so many unique emotions. we’ll go back to peace & ‘‘home’’ soon enough, don’t rush through life. there’s nothing to attain and nothing to chase. be here now and see how you can access anything you want in this current moment.
we’re chasing emotions and we’re chasing feelings. we’re not really chasing the goals we think we are because of the material stuff. we chase them because of the feelings we think will be evoked when we get them. what if you spent some time now evoking those feelings right now? if you desperately want to buy & own your own house and deferring true happiness until you get to reach this outcome… why do you want it? how will you feel? what emotions are you seeking? are you seeking shelter and the feeling of being safe and at home? and how can you, in this moment in your life right now, evoke this feeling? even if it’s by looking at a tree or laying in your bed, feeling the safety of your bed holding you and you falling into soft sheets full of trust?
life gets good when you invite infinite hobbies, curiosity & endless side-quests into it. (yup, there’s nothing more to it, it’s simply just true).
allow your north star to change a hundred times if it has to, just have a north star. as a chronically multipassionate person, i struggle with overwhelm, fear of quitting things, decision paralysis, overthinking and fear of commiting to projects and ideas. the solution is to take it one step at a time and just start. your north star will change, that’s okay. no work and no passion, however chaotic or however brief, is ever wasted. it will always come back to you in surprising valuable ways. don’t wait anymore, leap and figure things out as you go.
